I have had the privilege of growing up in a Christian home. I have a strong Christian family heritage and I am very blessed because of it. I accepted Christ at a young age and was baptized at 11 years of age. I loved going to church and reading my Bible, even at a young age. Yet as I approached adolescence, I fell into a trap. My parents had hired a trainer to help me better my running skills and increase my chances for college scholarships. Little did they know that the trainer that they had hired had alterior motives- i was going to provide sexual fulfillment for his running expertise. And thus began 4 years of abuse. I knew all of this was wrong but how did I tell my parents? I feared that they would blame me or be upset with me, and so I kept it a secret. Nobody knew my secret guilt and shame that I felt. I felt like such a fake, claiming to be a Christian yet living in sin. When I moved away to college the relationship stopped, thankfully! However it had set an unhealthy precedence for boundaries in dating and I would struggle to be pure in my college dating relationships. I sought counsel in college that helped me to work through the pain of what had happened.

When I moved to Indianapolis for graduate school, I met my husband. We soon realized that we both had pain and regrets from previous relationships as well as from sexual abuse and addictions. Because we both brought our own baggage to the relationship, we were able to love and forgive and understand on a much deeper level. God brought restoration to both of us and has blessed us with a very fulfilling relationship on all levels. We’ve been happily married for just over 6 years.

I guess what I’ve learned over the years is that God has a purpose for ALL that happens to you, whether it be good or bad. I’ve found that God has been able to use my painful past to minister to others and my husband has found the same to be true. For a long time, I wanted to hide behind the regrets, embarrassed for others to see I wasn’t perfect. Now I realize that not only can it be used to reach out to others, it has helped to shape me into who I am today. I wouldn’t be ME without that part of my life-that part has made me a much more patient and understanding and less judgmental person. It also has given me even stronger convictions to promote purity to young women.

So I say to all of you reading this, let God use all of you-no matter how painful and ugly some parts may seem. He will find a purpose for all of it. And don’t be afraid to open up about who you are and what has happened in your life; you just may find that someone needs to hear exactly what you have to share.

As a child I grew up with a lot of negative perspective in a so-called Christian environment. God protected me from a lot of negative and evilness by providing me with godly unconditional loving elderly couples and allowing me to share my passion of children becoming a well respected, reliable, trustworthy playmate to more than 75 children in my hometown. What a reputation I built!!! I had and was on a mission for God setting a positive, influencial, christ-like example to all those around me. I lived my childhood around others in the family who were defensive, complainers, tattle-rats, nosy, abusive and more. Which basically was emotional unhealthy. I refused this kind/type of behavior/actions which left me with emotional turmoil and became worse when I married one who brainwashed me into believing against my family. Down deep in my heart I love my family no matter their behavior and needed them who rejected me to a point I never asked or visited overnight again.
God kept my mind, heart and soul on the right track and because I listened/obeyed God, He sent wonderful, inspirational spiritual and godly people into my life to heal me from my emotional damage. Today, I am now able to give my mom a perspective and conviction to admit her personal mistakes to a road of hope to reunite with the other children/siblings. We can only be problem solvers if we give up being defensive. Debates are not answers to any problem. Leave problems with God and don’t spread them to everyone else to gain attention/friends. I now know why I am quiet. Others are always watching you. If you don’t know who you are and what you want, you will always be walked on by someone under Satan’s power/authority.
I also was raised on 10 commandments. My heart cringes when so many so called christians are not living the 10 commandments. I am not religious = organized. I am spiritual and an ambassador of God.

Anonymous Submission

God, in His sovereignty, used me as a vessel for HIS glory after the birth of our daughter. Eight hours after delivery, I almost lost my life by massively hemorrhaging. I required eight blood transfusions in all. My blood pressure became undetectable. But on top of it all, my retinas detached taking away almost 90% of my eyesight. Everything I saw was an extreme blur.

What could have been a time of extreme anxiety, chaos, and terror, God in His mercy and loving care never left my side. He gave me that peace which transcends all understanding even as I faced death (Philippians 4:7). Scripture came into my head as I lay there while the doctors worked on me, unable to see. I was not afraid because I had learned to trust in Him; my citizenship is not here on earth but in heaven (Philippians 3:20).

Rom 5:3-5 There is hope in my sufferings….I saw how God conformed me in my walk and He worked through me. He revealed Himself not only to me but to others by using me as His vessel to testify of His strength and His enabling power. Through His enabling power and strength, I was even able to give the plan of salvation to one of my nurses amidst of it all.

God, El Roi, “The God Who Sees Me”, does not always promise to heal us physically, but He does promise to heal us spiritually (Romans 10:9-11). I was blessed in that He did heal me physically. My eyesight returned after almost six months of healing while caring for a newborn. If I went blind so that others may see, praise all to the Lord!

God has the power to take difficult circumstances in our lives, to use them to our good and ultimately His glory. This story would be a book if I gave all the examples of how God used me for His glory. I loved it best how Pastor Chris once said in the pulpit, “Take the focus off self and place it on God. Look to see how God will receive the glory in that situation. Keep your eyes focused on Him.” How perfect a quote for someone who did not have eyesight—LOOK TO GOD, FOCUS OFF SELF, He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Mary Graham

With each passing day I am learning to trust and obey the Lord for
each step I take. I grew up in a non-Christian home. I was the second
to the oldest of four girls. My oldest sister was born with a birth defect
that left her paralyzed from the waist down. At a early age I knew to
cherish each day. Doctors gave her 24 hours to live. Today she is
45 years old.

By the time I had reached my teen years my home life was falling apart.
My parents were struggling in there marriage. My father had job troubles
and was out of a job for several years. My mom stayed home and unselfishly
gave of herself to serve her family. I was a compliant child growing up.
I was fearful of doing anything that would cause more hardship for my
parents.

By my senior year I had decided to attend college at Ball State. I looked
forward to leaving all my pain behind and pressing on to a new life. It was
only a few months into the start of school when a girl from Campus
Crusade for Christ came to visit me in my dorm room. She sat down and
asked me “Angie if you died tomorrow do you know where you are going.
I remember saying, “I hope heaven.” For months she met with me. I had
questions and a lot of questions. I started attending church on a regular
basis for the first time in my life. One day that freshmen year I went
forward at church and accepted the Lord as my Savior. I felt hope for the
very first time. God’s light began to illuminate my path of darkness. I continued
to grow in the Lord and my path got brighter.

Four years of college flew by and now it was time to find the career job.
After the first year of college I secured my first job, married my high
school sweetheart and we bought our first home. I found a church home
and continued to grow in the Lord. I didn’t understand but my husband
was gone almost every night of the week. I sought out counseling to
better understand the dynamics of our marriage. If I wanted to see my
husband I had to find him among his hobbies. I quit counseling after
I was encouraged to file for divorce I had married the wrong person.
I buried the pain and tried to support my husband with his hobbies.
I continued to seek what a healthy marriage looked like.

The first five years of working were great. I started out in a entry
level position and moved up the career ladder quickly. God revealed
to me there was no fulfillment in the career, job titles or money. We paid
off the school loans and I desired to start a family. God said, “Not yet.”
At the time I didn’t understand but I was under a a lot of stress and
had a lot of responsibilities in my job. I changed jobs and several
months later I became pregnant. Our first child was a beautiful baby
girl, Stephanie.

When Stephanie was one years old we moved to Center Grove in
a neighborhood right across from Mount Pleasant Christian Church. I fell in
love with Mount Pleasant and the people. We got connected to care
group and began to get to know people on a more personal level.
Two years into our new home and we had our second child, Brooke.
My husband gave up all his hobbies and took up competitive fishing.
He bought a boat and started fishing during the week and weekends.
In due time his hobby had consumed his life. He was gone from
March to October and then hunting season would start until December.

I was living a single life but married. How do I deal with this pain? I got
involved in care group, took His/Her Needs class, attended multiple
bible studies and read every marriage book I could get my hands on.
I had wonderful Godly men who sat down with my husband and tried
to help him reach the healthy balance. I wanted to implement
all the wonderful things I knew would improve our marriage. God first,
praying together, date nights, recreational companionship etc.
I needed a willing heart to meet me half way. The words were painful
and the answer was No I am not willing to do any of it!

Well things began to take a very dark turn in my life. I gave up my
in home daycare to work part time evenings at Federal Express to
help with medical insurance cost. I was working crazy hours from
11 pm to 4 a.m. and working cleaning new house construction
during the day. Over a three year period I grew very tired, weary and
less tolerable. I had given up on the marriage completely. I had pulled away
from care group,bible studies and support of Christian friends due to
my work schedule.

One evening on the soccer fields of MPCC I reconnected with a high
school friend. We exchanged telephone numbers and began to share
this and that of life. He became a listening ear and support to me.
Most of all he became my cheerleader and I completely hardened my
heart towards my husband. The house went up for sale and the children
and I moved out and I filed for divorce.

God put many people in my path during this time. God sent a close
friend from church to work with me at Federal Express in the same
department. Church friends spoke boldly to me. My care group
leader prayed with me and asked me to consider giving my marriage
a second chance. I hit a crossroad and what do I do? I turned to church
and our pastors who gently and lovely walked through this struggle with me.
I am grateful to our pastors who challenged me to walk in obedience to God’s
word.

I was convicted I was not walking in obedience to God’s word. I knew God’s
word and I chose to try and carry the weight of my burdens myself. My doubt
saw obstacles but FAITH sees opportunities and hope that can only be found
walking day by day with the Lord. I am forever grateful for God’s mercy and grace
and for my husband’s forgiveness. I had to take the detour to fully understand
God is in control of all circumstances and things are on His timing not mine.

If you need anything else from me please let me know.

Blessings
Angie Stone

I’ve sat down on several occasions to write my story and for one reason or another decided it wasn’t the right time or the right thing to say, one excuse after the next; so here I go again. I grew up what I thought was a fairly normal life, I started performing on stage at the age of 4, dance lessons, high school cheerleader, swim team, track all of the things most normal kids do. My parents coming from different backgrounds couldn’t agree on religion so we jumped from church to church, it was very confusing going from the Catholic Church to a First Assembly and many others in between; I didn’t know what to believe. As I entered my teen years there was something missing that I couldn’t put my finger on, so I searched many different avenues of fulfillment reading about witchcraft and other things. We lived a block away from the local university so parties and boys were easy to find, I was having fun. Before high school graduation I was drinking and doing drugs every weekend, my drug abuse ranged from marijuana to cocaine, and even a hit or two of acid on any given weekend, I told myself “I can stop anytime I want to.” A couple of years after graduation I met the man I would later marry at none other than a party, we started our relationship very upside down. I wanted to run away from everything I knew and when I met Keith he was running from his own demons as well, so we jumped in my car and headed for San Francisco. Although we had jobs we didn’t make enough money to support our habits and pay for a place to live so we slept in my car or a tent, I was homeless thousands of miles away from my family. I can’t imagine what my parents must have been thinking or how scared they were for me but I was living my own life and that was all that mattered. After awhile living on the street became too much so we traveled back to Indiana and tried to set up house. I knew Keith wasn’t happy here and the only reason he stayed was out of a sense of obligation no! t wantin g to just drop me off on my parents door step. Later that year I found myself pregnant, I didn’t want Keith to think I was trying to “trap” him so I gathered all of the information from the clinic and presented it as our only choice. I couldn’t tell my parents I was pregnant I didn’t want to be anymore of a disappointment than I already was, and I couldn’t tell my mother what I had done I knew how se felt about people who did such things, they were no better than a person who shoots someone in cold blood; I would be a murder in my mothers eyes and in my own mind so I kept it inside and never spoke of it again. Soon after, my father died of a heart attack and Keith left for the west coast where he grew up. I moved back into my mother’s home and fell deeper into depression. My alcohol and marijuana abuse continued although I knew it was wrong it was apart of my life I couln’t break free from it was a part of my family, you see my brother was my dealer. After 8 months Keith returned to Indiana, God was pulling us together for some reason but we had to do it our way and move in together once again. For the next eight years we lived together in constant fights and arguments we could never get it right, but could never pull away from each other either; so one day we decided to get married. Soon after our wedding we moved to my husband’s hometown of Seattle where I once again found myself pregnant, but this time it would be ok we were married, now all we had to do was find jobs and start our family. In my 13th week of pregnancy I lost the baby, it was a difficult miscarriage and of course I blamed myself. Why would God give me a child when I discarded life so easily before, I was an alcoholic, drug using murderer, I was nothing and deserved nothing in return. Several months later God would give me another chance and I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Without my family and friends around for support I went back to smoking pot, it made the days go by a little easier, the only people I had were Keith! and thi s baby. When my son was six weeks old I got one of the worst phone calls of my life my mother had passed away in the night, she would never get to hold her grandchild and I would never get to tell her how much I loved her. Out of desperation to save me from further depression my husband moved us back to Indiana where he felt I would be happier near the rest of my family. Over the next several years I gave birth to two more children and with the stress of every day life our dependency grew stronger mine to marijuana and his to alcohol. The verbal abuse between us became worse everyday, my husband and I were drifting apart and there was nothing I could do about it or wanted to. I hated him and wanted nothing to do with him, he could say the meanest and most hurtful thing and made me feel so worthless, and I’m sure I didn’t make him feel any better. I was trying to change my life and to walk the life of a Christian, I wanted something better for my children and I didn’t want anyone at church to know what was happening behind the closed doors of my home; so I kept quiet and leaned on God as much as I could. In my darkest moment after a nasty fight with my husband I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor with a bottle of pain pills in one hand and a loaded gun in the other, I just wanted it to end the screaming and the hiding I was finished. I remember crying out “God if you don’t end this I will” when a soft knock on the door and scared little voice said “Mommy are you ok, can I come in?” “No go back to bed” I said “mommy will be fine.” I knew what he had seen through the crack in the door and what they had heard so many times before when we thought they was sleeping; and at that moment I knew it was finished. You see God had given me my answer and it was not to take my own life but to start a new one with my husband and my children. Shortly after that night the drugs and alcohol left our home for good and my husband and I found a new love for one another that we had never known before. Ther! e is peace in God’s grace when you surrender everything to Him, He can heal all wounds no matter how deep they are. I don’t have to come to this church I GET to come to church,I don’t have to raise my hands in worship, I GET to raise my hands, and I don’t have to hide anymore because God knows where I have been and where I am going. God stopped me from taking my life that night and restored my marriage and saved my family. I look forward to everyday and am so grateful that God never gave up on the story of Keith and Leanna. We are not perfect and still have our faults, little arguments here and there but abuse of any kind is not apart of our life together, and everyday God shines a light in our once dark existence. Never give up hope, no matter how far or fast you run God will keep up with you every step of the way.

Leanna

My life, up to this point, had pretty much been a Christian fairytale story with only a few bumps in the road. I was raised in a Christian home. My parents were fun, involved in my life, and truly in love – and are still all of those things today. I was surrounded by extended family members who put God first in their lives and helped raise me up and instruct me in God’s ways. I asked Jesus to be part of my life at church camp in 2nd grade and continued to grow and thrive in my walk with God throughout childhood, adolescence, and into adulthood. I attended a Christian university, married an amazing Christian guy, and fulfilled my childhood dream of being a teacher. We had purchased our first home with plenty of room for a little one and a playground in the backyard. Everything was going just as I had planned.

So, how could this really be happening? Why ME? I had tried to do everything the way God would want me to. What did I do wrong? Yes, I had made many mistakes and sinned more times than I cared to admit. But, I was never a rebellious kid, I followed the rules, I read my Bible, I was involved in church, I loved the Lord, so WHY was this happening? Was I being punished for something? No, God wouldn’t do that. Right? Was I not good enough? Did I not fit the requirements?

My husband and I had discovered that we were unable to conceive a child. It just didn’t make sense. I was confused. I was hurt. I felt like a failure. I thought God knew all of our thoughts. How could He not know that I had dreamed of being a mommy my entire life? How could He not know that I was obsessed with pregnancy and all of its wonder? How could He not realize that I had longed to feel the miracle of life growing inside of me? Did He miss something along the way? I was a babysitter, a camp counselor, I chose teaching as my career! I loved children! Where was God? Why had He abandoned me? Questions, so many questions took over my thoughts. Did God not trust me with a child? Would I not be a good mommy? Questions turned to a sense of failure, which turned to anger, which turned to doubt and confusion.

It was such a roller coaster. I would spend a few days reminding myself that God’s ways are better than my ways, that He had a purpose for my life, that He would never do anything to hurt me. I would read the Bible verses that discuss how trials are good for us. I would try to be strong. I was lost and hurt; yet I continued to cry out to God. But, then those days of doubt and despair would come over me. I would throw pillows and scream towards the heavens. I would cry and sob and cry. Of course, I did all of these things when my husband wasn’t around. I wanted to appear strong for him. I didn’t want him to know I was depressed and doubtful and confused. It was his body, after all, that ended up having the issues making it impossible for us to conceive. I didn’t want to make him feel worse than he already did. One thing I knew, all along, was that I loved my husband more than anything and I never blamed him or thought it was his fault. We were in this together. God brought us together and that’s exactly how we would remain – together! But why didn’t He want us to be parents? My husband also chose teaching as his career. He was incredible with the kids at school. I just didn’t understand! I was angry that I had to give up control in so many areas of my life. During our years of infertility and trying to figure out what was wrong, I had to let the doctors dictate so many things. I couldn’t stand it! I was resentful. Bitter. I wanted to be in charge of my own life again! For some reason, I didn’t want to let go – even though my ways were obviously not working out.

I wish I could tell you that I was strong in my faith from the very beginning. That I trusted God, no matter what. That I never doubted Him for a minute. But, honestly, it took several years. It took my family lifting me up in prayer. It took my husband’s understanding and loving reassurance. All the while, I went along with my life “appearing” as if I was trusting God. The anger and bitterness was pressed under the surface. But, as time passed, the pain started to ease. I stopped blaming God. I started to SEEK Him again. I began to ask for HIS direction in my life. I had to let go of control. I had to give it over to Him. I just couldn’t hold onto it any longer. It wasn’t easy, but when I finally did…it was like this huge weight had been lifted from my life. I was truly giving it to God. For real. I was done carrying it around. I told my family how I felt. I was honest with my husband. I decided that if God had other plans for my husband and me – plans that didn’t involve a child in our home, then we would follow God’s path for our lives. My husband was already there. He was just waiting for me to join him in his decision to let God take over.

Miraculous things started to happen. Only when I gave it up and handed it over to God did I start to see the pieces slowly come together. One thing led to another. God was opening doors in the most amazing ways. Incredible ways! True miracles and answers to prayer. My heart was healed. My desire to give birth was slowly disappearing. I still wanted to be a mom, but I no longer cared how it would happen…or if it ever would. I was trusting God this time. Little did we know, God knew exactly how we would become parents. He had a very special purpose for us. He hadn’t abandoned me! He did know all of my hopes and dreams! Not only did He know that I could handle being a mom, but He chose me to be one of the few parents who have the opportunity to experience the gift of adoption. I prayed for months that if God wanted us to adopt, that I would know – without a doubt. That there would be a neon sign letting me know. I prayed for a neon sign from God. Guess what? When we went to visit the adoption office that we felt God was leading us to, they had a neon sign in their entry. A neon stork! Seriously, folks! God answered my prayer with a neon sign. Literally. Like I said, amazing and miraculous things were happening! He knew that there were two little boys who would need each other, who He had chosen as our responsibility to raise, who would have birthfamilies who would need our strength and faith in God. He knew all along! He heard my cries and screams and despair. He was saying, “Just wait. I have an incredible plan for you. Please, just let go and allow me to put the pieces into place.” He was there all along.

It is truly amazing what can happen if we give up control of our lives. I learned that we need to literally just give it over to God. Allow Him to be in charge of ALL things. Trust Him to follow through. As I hear the giggles of children chasing each other around the yard and look around my house with all of the scattered toys, crumbs on the floor, and piles of little boy laundry – I think to myself, “Could this really be happening?” It’s a dream come true! An answer to prayer! Yes, it IS happening!

Kimberly Frahm

The first bout of depression that I remember experienced was in middle school. My best friend since kindergarten decided that she needed to move on to bigger and better things, a life in the popular crowd. It devastated me and left me with a very low self esteem. I have never fully recovered from this. I have a difficult time allowing myself to become a good friend with anyone. Frankly, I am surprised that I even am married. I don’t allow people in too far. I often wish that I could have that strong girl friend relationship but I don’t want to get hurt. The only person that truly understood me, my history and how to pull me out of depression was my mom.

June 28, 2004, I received the worst phone call of my life. My mom, my best friend was calling to tell me that she was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. I prayed so hard. Every morning I was on my knees praying for her to overcome this disease. Six months later, my mom lost her fight with this deadly disease. I began to slip away down into a deep depression. I had never been this bad. I reached rock bottom about 18 months after I lost her. I couldn’t stand the pain any longer and finally just dropped to my knees to ask God to take my life. I knew that I could never take my own life, I wouldn’t want the pain that would have brought my family, but I could ask God to just end it for me. He would gently answer me with a no. He would remind me that my children needed me and that my husband needed me as well. Several more times through the next 6 months I would ask again to take me. Always I received the answer of no.

I was driving home in a storm and again asking God to take me home. I got silence for an answer. I got mad. I screamed at God and let him have it. Why did he take my mom when I prayed so hard and had belief that he would cure her? Why was I suffering so deeply without any relief? He took her but why not me? Mind that there was a storm going on outside and this may not have been my best timing for me to yell at God. But after I had let it all out, I felt good. I had finally had an honest moment with God. I was mad at him for taking her and letting me suffer. I felt that God was saying, “Now, don’t you feel better?” My answer was yes. I don’t think a yelling and screaming relationship is a good relationship to have with the God of the universe. A honest one is the best one. After my tantrum there was a calm and then I knew that I needed to get help. I called the doctor the next day and got the help that I needed and have needed as a chronic depression sufferer.

I have always used humor to hide behind. If I make fun of myself first then no one can make fun of me. What’s the point if I’ve already done it? But the truth is while I joke and say that I am on “happy medicine”. I am on anti-depressants. I will be probably for the rest of my life. It’s a chemical imbalance. But God was part of getting me the medical help that was necessary. Why? He knew that I couldn’t collapse like I had in the past. He knew what was ahead.

Four years after my mom’s diagnosis, I found myself living it again. This time it was because my husband was diagnosed with cancer. I had to remain functional and strong for him and for my kids. I could curl up into a ball, rock back and forth and cry. God prepared my for this new trial and I am forever grateful. It was a tough lesson, hard training. We got through his cancer and he is doing well and has been cancer free for over a year.

No God doesn’t answer all of our prayers the way we want him to answer. He answered no to saving my mom. He firmly said no to taking my life. I was mad at him for saying no and I reacted like a spoiled child. But now at the end of this trial I can see why his no was better than giving in to my tantrums. I know that I still have a lot of work to do to be more like Christ but I know that he is still molding me daily. My prayer now is for him to help me learn how to be a friend and not run away from people. I only let people get so close then I crack a joke and leave them laughing. It’s a clean get away. I think I’ll be around a long time because I am such a slow learn.

Leigh Lawson

I have always been a strong person…a strong personality, a leader, and someone who never needed anyone to lean on. I would have to say that I have been pretty blessed throughout my life. I loved school and did well, I married a great woman, I have three wonderful children, and I have continually increased my income.

I never thought I would say this, but the increasing income may have been my worst enemy. I have never cherished money, but I have always enjoyed nice things, not so much for myself, but for my family. We live in a nice house, we drive nice cars, and have always enjoyed nice vacations. I did not feel so bad about this, because I could afford these luxuries and still saved money and still managed to be generous by contributing to charities and church.

Recently, I have found myself in new territory. I have lost my job for the first time in my life. Prior to losing my job, I found myself bringing home only 30% of my normal income for the last 9 months. There is some good and bad in this story. The good is we have learned to live life without so many luxuries and have managed just fine. The bad is that I am nearly out of money and fear for my ability to provide for even the basic needs for my family.

I have never asked for or accepted any handouts, including unemployment income. It seems like my world is caving in on me and I am not the strong person I once portrayed. I initially started to feel like God was sending me a message and I was ready to learn my lesson. The problem was that I felt like I had learned my lesson and was ready for things to turn around now.

I know in my heart that God is with me, but I recently heard and believe is that God will help me turn things around with faith, but not in my time frame, but his. I have never been a patient person and this is a true test in faith and patience.

I feel like there are many lessons here for me, including living a more humble life, being a person in need of support, patience, and faith. It is hard to take all this in at one time, but I am working hard at it, since I never ask for help. I am asking for help in getting through this time, because this not only effects me, but my entire family.

Scott Hall

I always felt blessed but often allowed myself to struggle with the questions of -was all I had, knew, or experienced because of God and his mightiness or was it just the way life was supposed to be or just good luck or because my parents and I worked hard and this is what we accomplished. I grew up in a Presbyterian church -every Sunday my mom and the girls were there. We were involved in VBS, youth ministry, outreach programs, volunteering and more. My mom read bible stories to us and we prayed daily. I was a Christian and clearly knew what that meant and embraced it. One thing I remember is I always felt “dumb” in church -all the other kids had the Bible memorized, jumped at the chance to answer the Sunday school teacher’s questions and knew every hymn. I was a straight A student my entire life -why did I lack confidence at church -the one place I should feel most comfortable? I also never felt I could sing well so I just didn’t. I got reprimanded by youth choir director at summer camp -I was mortified. I also remember getting in trouble for asking questions at church. As I reached adolescence -I wanted to know and understand more. But the church leaders and teachers seemed to think I was defiant or shouldn’t be asking questions… My mom knew I was curious and that my beliefs were starting to fade. One day my dad told my older sister and I that we were old enough to decide whether or not we wanted to get up early on Sundays and go to church. Well my sister and I decided we would rather sleep in. I didn’t attend church regularly but I continued to pray -allot more but more so secretly because I wasn’t going to church and began engaging in premarital sex and experimented with illegal substances. I was exposed to allot at a very early age but was “blessed” because I quickly stopped doing those bad things. At the time I don’t think I understood God was really with me and answering my prayers and pleas for help. I thought I was in control and made up my mind to be a better person -again I struggled with d! id God r eally play a role or was it all me? I have always felt responsible, mature, and independent so of course I had turned this around -I know now that I did but only did with God’s support and answers.

Then I went to a Catholic College -what was I thinking. I knew nothing about Catholicism. I was so afraid of theology courses (which I misunderstood for Catholic classes). Wow were my eyes opened to new religions, beliefs, historical facts, and more. I was free to question, ponder, research, discover Christianity. It was great. However, all my new college friends were Catholic- I felt like the outsider. I didn’t know what to do at Mass. I began to hide that I wasn’t Catholic. Then I got a nice paying job and had to work at 7am on Sundays -well of course money as a college student was more important than church (at least that’s what I thought then). Theology courses were over, I worked on Sundays, and I lived on my own -unfortunately I drifted from God and church.

I met a man and we married after college. At 21 years old, I thought I knew him and loved him enough and that marriage was best because I was moving out of state for an internship and I would need support and financial help. The move and being away from family was horrible. I was sad. I loved and missed my family and our gatherings. Plus, I got the shock of my life. This man, my new husband hit me and mentally, verbally, and physically abused me. I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid for the first time in my life. I turned to God but in secret. I would cry and pray at night. I would go into the chapel at the hospital I worked/interned at and would talk to God. I never thought he listened. I thought this was my punishment for drifting from God and sinning for many years. I clearly remember my ex stating after hitting me, “What’s your family and God going to do for you now?” He knew I was thousands of miles from home as well as didn’t have a church or support system now. Finally the internship was over and we moved back home to Indiana. Yeah- I was home. I had family, church, and friends again. But I also still lived with an evil man. He straightened up for a bit probably because I toughened up and was so close to home and he didn’t want to be caught. I had a son. He was my pride and joy. I loved him and he loved me unconditionally -unlike my relationship with my husband. When the violence was so close to my son -I knew this man would end up not just hurting me more but my precious boy so I had to make a huge decision. I needed a divorce. Marriage counseling and church or God for him at this time was unfathomable. The truth had to come out to family and friends but I didn’t believe in divorce. I was the outcast of the family. Then I was pregnant. However, I still felt the divorce would be best for all. In Indiana, I couldn’t get a divorce while pregnant.

When I needed God the most, I drifted. I made the decision to be on my own, a single mother of a newborn and a three year old. I could do it. I did do it. Back then I didn’t call on God much. I faced reality and knew times would be tough, family would frown on me, and I didn’t want to be in church with people knowing I was a divorcee with two little boys. I was embarrassed. Occasionally I prayed. But I prayed for the wrong things -I prayed for income, my ex would be punished, that I would find a loving man some day, my boys would grow up okay without a father figure, and more. A few years later, I enrolled my son into a church based preschool and Kindergarten. It was great -my son was learning about God & the Bible and we prayed together. We read Bible stories. I regained my faith and hope. All was great. All was great until I couldn’t afford this private Christian school any more. I drifted from God again.

Many years went on -no strong stability in church, my faith teetered, my boys and I hopped from various churches. My entire family was not as committed to God. Nobody ever talked about church or faith. We were Christians but reflections occurred but mainly around Easter and Christmas. I would read self-help books and devotions on-line. I prayed occasionally. I was content with God being on the back burner. However, I had a yearning. I wanted more. I wanted my boys to love and never give up on God. I wanted to be a better mother. I was so independent and strong as a single mom for many years and thought I could do it all on my own. I knew I was “blessed” in many ways. I thought all was good because of my hard work and determination. Now I know all was and is Good because of God and his blessings.

In November of 2008, I was so fortunate to meet the most incredible man. A man who is 100% committed to God, the Bible, Christian behaviors, attending church, missionary work, and more. I quickly invited myself to attend service with him at his church. I loved MPCC. I loved attending and praying with my boyfriend. I loved talking about God and our beliefs. I was scared and hesitant. I thought once this man really learned more about me and my past that he wouldn’t be interested. Would he be able to be honest to his friends and family about me? Would they tell him I wasn’t good or pure or young enough for him? I wanted to erase all of my past but prayed that this man and others could accept my past, my struggles in faith, and my two boys. I prayed that we would continue to date and God would guide me and my decisions. I had a shield of steel up. I didn’t want to be hurt. I wanted my boys to learn more about him -to exemplify his incredible passion for Christ and helping others. I wanted this man to teach us more. I wanted MPCC to teach us more. I wanted to grow spiritually and in a solid, loving relationship not only with this man but with God too. We don’t miss church. We are committed Christians. We are discovering a new world of dating and Christianity together.

I want to be a better Christian. I am proud of my new found commitment. I am no longer embarrassed of my past. I am who I am and have accomplished allot but only with God. The past is the past. My future will never exclude God again. I am proud of who I am and how my boys are evolving too. I still call MPCC “his church.” I want to become a member but I didn’t want to prematurely if the relationship wasn’t to continue. I am confident it’s not ending. I never want to church hop again. I live for the day my two boys make a decision to commit fully to Christ and become baptised. I didn’t need a fabulous boyfriend to bring me back to God but I am glad it coincidentally worked that way. I don’t call it luck that he and I met or he’s in my life. I call it God’s divine intervention. We are truly Blessed in so many ways.

Stacey

Our Story – My husband Mark and I were high school sweethearts. We were 17 and 16 when we met and went through high school and college at IU together. We were married in 1984. In 1994 we were on top of the world- owners of our own successful business, just built our dream home and were parents to 4 very active boys. Life was good but I didn’t realize that Mark was empty. He thought he had it all and had achieved everything he had dreamed of but there was something missing. There had to be more but he wasn’t sure what that was. Through a series of events and the help of some wonderful Christian men (and obviously God’s hand) he ended up at Promise Keepers on June 23, 1995.
After Franklin Graham’s calling he went forward and surrendered his life to Jesus Christ. He wasn’t sure how but he knew one thing for sure, his life was different. He was on a mountaintop, was so happy and felt such peace but he knew he would have to go home and face me, the biggest challenge of his new faith. I was raised to believe that all people who went to church were hypocrites and all they wanted was your money. When Mark came home and told me that God had changed him, he was going to start reading the Bible and he wanted me to go to church with him I was not a happy camper. In fact I couldn’t stand him and I would try everything I could to trip him up, to get him mad or to say a swear word. I just wanted my old Mark back! He just told me he was praying for me and that made me furious. I didn’t need prayer, I just wanted things back the way they were. Although I hated what Mark had become I was curious and asked him questions constantly. He tried to answer but he wasn’t too sure what to say. I tried to read the Bible but of course it made no sense to me. We did start going to church and the boys loved it but I was miserable. Mark persevered and continued praying for me (along with many others who knew our situation). Eventually “the old guy who spoke” at church began to speak to my heart and I began to listen. His words actually applied to me and what I was feeling. The spiritual warfare I was experiencing eventually took its toll on our marriage and it became more difficult for Mark. He just kept praying.
On October 9th he came home late to a dark house, locked doors and me asleep on the couch. He went outside and prayed for God to please change my heart and draw me to Himself. He believed that God would not save him without me. He came inside and knew I was in God’s hands. Mark left early that morning and I was so miserable so I started reading a tiny green book written by Billy Graham that Mark had brought home from Promise Keepers. It finally became crystal clear and I truly understood who Jesus was and what he did for me! I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior on my knees at the side of my bed at 6:30 in the morning. It was like the whole world was lifted off my shoulders and I felt this incredible peace. It was amazing!
On my way to drop the boys off at school I stopped by Mark’s office and as I walked up to him he could see the total change on my face. He could tell I had become a new person. I could only tell him I was sorry and that everything was going to be ok. It took me 3 days to tell him what had happened that morning but from that day on Mark and I have grown together in or faith, raising our children in a Christian home with Biblical values. Through 15 years of trials and the challenges of raising 5 children, we thank God each day for His mercy and grace and that He drew us to Himself individually yet together. Either in a stadium full of thousands of men or quietly at the side of your bed, we all have our own personal story of how we come to know Jesus. To Him be all glory, honor and praise!!!

Mary & Mark Dietel

The thought of writing my story for all to see leaves me petrified! Worrying about what everyone else thinks about the sin I struggle with is the very problem that kept me struggling for so long…alone!

On the surface, I’m the model Christian. I was raised in a Christian home, accepted Christ as a child, did some wandering away from God in my teens and twenties, but came back to a “relationship” with God in my mid-20’s shortly after marrying my wife. I did and said all the right things to give the impression that Christ was Lord of my life…but I knew better in my heart. I had been hiding a dark secret that was driving a wedge in my relationship not only with God, but also with my wife. I was struggling with a very shameful sexual addiction. The roots of this problem run deep…..the result of things done to me by others as a child and also the result of choices I made at a young age and beyond. This left me with a sort of secret “double life” that left me helpless and hopeless. In times when I was acting out in my addiction, I felt like my salvation was utterly lost! The fear of being “found out” kept me struggling with this issue alone for many years….too ashamed to bring it into the light for fear that I’d lose not only my family, but all of the friends God had blessed me with. I wasn’t really the good Christian boy I pretended to be.

During this time, my “relationship” with God struggled as I went through cycle after cycle of shame from acting out on my addiction…followed by repentance and a time of healing. I cried out the God many times in all of this asking for His divine healing–that He would take this all away and make me feel “normal”. Other times I prayed that God would grant me the courage (and my wife the gracious heart ) to confess my struggles to my wife (or to anyone) so I could get some help and healing. When no help seemed to come, I was quick to accuse and blame God for my troubles…saying….“If only you would intervene….“ At times, I experienced rest from my struggles….but somehow, I always wound up back in the proverbial “pig sty” because I was laboring in my own strength and not relying on God’s. My Christian walk looked like a roller coaster ride.

Then one day in November of 2006, my secret world caved in on me….or was it an answered prayer? I thought my secret was going to be exposed and mustered up the courage to tell my wife about the nature of my struggle. It was a very difficult conversation to have and very difficult for her to hear! But God had prepared her heart to show me mercy and compassion and love! It wasn’t until about a year later….after MANY tears, MUCH heartache, some denial, and more failures in the area of my integrity….that I decided to embark on the journey of healing through Christian counseling, through 12-step recovery work, through accountability, and most importantly, through starting to develop a true relationship with God.

Since this time, I’m coming to realize that God didn’t do this to me….He didn’t make me struggle this way…..but he allowed this to come about in my life so the sham of my Christian walk would be destroyed and that I would begin to truly rely on Him and truly make Him my source of strength and motivation. He also desires that my relationship with my wife be one of mutual honesty, trust, grace and love.

He answered my prayers in a way I didn’t expect and didn’t necessarily enjoy. Even though I don’t do everything right in my relationship with Him (or my wife), I’m coming to believe that He can use the broken pieces of my life and shape them for His service. I’m hopeful and trusting that He will someday give me the courage to allow Him to take this struggle that I kept hidden for so long and use it for His glory!

Philipians 1:6 “…He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”

Anonymous Submission

Little did I know God had plans for me that would forever change my life on July 3rd of this year. It was a beautiful 4th of July weekend at the lake with my family and extended family. I was helping push a boat away from the dock. I leaned too far over the water and fell in. My wedding rings got caught on the railing of the boat, riping off my ring finger as I fell. Only 3/4ths of the bone was left attached to my hand. I was told that it was best to amputate the rest of the bone leaving me with no finger. There are so many details in the event that I look back and see how God was working in my situation but I want to get to the bottom line of what God is showing me through this trial.

During and after the events of my trial, I was encouraged and strengthened from family and friends but mostly from spending time alone with God. All the things I have been taught at MPCC and Bible Study Fellowship flooded my mind. I chose to go to scripture and seek the One who soverignly works in the lives of His children. I read over and over many Psalms, crying out to the Lord where He showed me His grace was sufficient for all my needs. He showed me that I am able to consider it pure joy when I face trials because as I come yielding to Him, He shows me He carries me through the momentary tears. He says to come to Him, that is what I have to continually do. I need accountability to press on when I don’t feel like it. I see how necessary it is to be intentional about pursuing and obeying my Lord for peace, wisdom, strength and direction for today. This is a daily need for me (sometimes hourly). He has deveoped a passion and love for Him and for His Glory to be the purpose of my life. It was very hard to sing “Blessed Be The Name”…you give and take away, but my heart will choose to say, blessed be the name of the LORD. God had a purpose and plan in using my hands for His Kingdom Work. I am honored to be used by GOD and I pray that He continues to use me to make a difference for His Kingdom. I am in the process of scheduling another surgery to remove the remaining bone in my hand, moving my pinky over for better function and better spacing in my hand. I pray that my story challenges others to tap into the amazing strength that is available TO THOSE WHO WILL COME TO HIM.

Kristine Shaub

I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY and, being Irish, was raised a Roman Catholic. I attended 12 years of Catholic schools during the 1950’s and 60’s. After marrying my husband, also an Irish Catholic, we moved 60 miles away from the city to the suburbs. We began having children and when our first son was 3, I started looking for a nursery school for him. I was told by a neighbor of a FREE!! nursery school in a small church nearby. And so I enrolled him in this school. It was held in a church called the Port Jefferson Church of Christ which, obviously, was not Catholic but we were enticed by the FREE!! aspect of it. Gail Day was the director and the teacher and each day that I saw her, I expected the “other shoe to drop”, so to speak. Soon I was sure an attempt to lure me into the church would come…or I would be hit up for money. But nothing happened…except the welcoming of my son; the gentle manner of Gail; and the obvious belief that her calling was a mission for her. Well, after the first year, feeling guilty for getting this wonderful opportunity for FREE, I started to inquire about the church and it’s teachings. As my inquisitiveness increased, Gail was more than happy to do a personal Bible study with me. Having been raised a Catholic, we never owned a Bible…that was always the priest’s job. And so, one Sunday in October, 1974, I made it to a service. Clearly this was very different from my previous religious experiences and I didn’t know quite what to make of it. But I knew I wanted more. I secretly went and purchased my very first Bible and hid it from my husband who was sure I was getting absorbed into a cult. The first thing I did in secret was to memorize all the books in the Bible. One night, feeling brave, I repeated the list to him. He was impressed…but not moved. And so, it began…every Sunday, the boys (I had had another son by then) went to this little church. And on March 21, 1975 I was baptized into Christ! becomin g a true Christian with the monumental task of winning my husband. It took several years but he finally did come and eventually went on to become an Elder in that church. That church was everything to us. There were only about 40 members when I started my search and we never grew to more than 200 but we learned the true meaning of fellowship. We lived as the Christians did in the Book of Acts. We shared meals, became involved in one another’s lives and used our various talents to help one another. We all had a strong desire to spread the word by befriending those we met. We realized that to win a soul meant you really had to share yourself and let the Holy Spirit work. We were a family in Christ and it was a beautiful thing. Had I not become a Christian, I would have never discovered my talent for teaching and singing; my husband would not have been able to handle the difficulties of being a New York City policeman and my sons…well, who knows? And that is my story, shared with you from my new surroundings in Indianapolis…with my whole family surrounding me. Life is beautiful!

Nancy Sullivan

Almost my whole life I grew up in church. I loved church. I always wanted to marry a christian man just like my daddy and have children and live this perfect family life, you know the house with the white picket fence life?

Well I did just that I got married at the age of 23 and right when we got back from our honeymoon I found out I was pregnant. I was so happy I could not wish for anything better. I quit my job and decided to be a stay at home mom. Things just went downhill from there. My husband and I had so much stress we had no money, we had a child to support and the stress of a new marriage. I do not even think I knew what life was until this point and I had another life to support. My daughter was born on March 11,2008. Things were going great or so I thought. Two months later I found out I was pregnant again. I was so happy again and thought everything was going halfway decent. For my husband it was a different story.

Through all the fighting and the arguing of having no money and me having no job and being stressed out my husband left and filed divorce papers on January 26, 2008 I remember this day like it was yesterday. I had a 10 month old baby girl and I was 8 months pregnant. I had a house and 2 cars in my name no job a child to support and again I was pregnant. The worst of all I did not want my children to grow up in a broken home. So everyday I began to pray. I took care of my 10 month old daughter and just prayed. I knew that through god all things are possible and that even though I was alone with 1 child and one soon coming I always told myself GOD will never give me more than I can handle even though I did not understand why the road was so ruff. I thought this was the worst there could be nothing worse.

About a month later I found out my husband was with some other woman that he worked with. At that point I knew there was no way we could make it and began to think of all the shelfish reasons of this like I can not bear another woman trying to raise my children or being with my children and I began to say I can do it all on my own and not wanting him to be around his own children. Again I just prayed I kept saying god will never give me more than I can handle. At this point I thought that I could not handle anything else. So the birth of my amazing daughter came on March 26, 2009. My husband was there for the birth and that was it. I stayed alone in the hospital because my parents had to stay with my then 12 month old daughter. I cried every single night at the hospital and again just prayed. Then I recieved a call from my brother that he had just seen my husband out at the mall with the woman shopping when I was in the hospital with our child. I thought my world was coming crashing down. I thought OK god I can not handle anymore. What did I do to deserve this? Why is this happening to me? Can I possibly handle anymore?

One night my husband called me and told me that he wanted to work things out and be the band of the house for me and our children. I thought there is no way. Do I go back and raise my children in the christian home that I always wanted with a mom and dad and let them know that being cheated on is ok? What do I do? I always thought that I have lived part of my life my children are just beginning and I want the best for them. I just prayed and about a week later I moved back in with my husband. Things were so hard and still are. We went to weekend to remember and realized how to be husband and wife through god something that we never knew because we never had the chance to learn it. We learned that there are many different affairs that you can have not just a love affair. We learned that we needed to put god in the center of our relationship and put each other first only after god but not our children. When we got home the devil had an even better plan or so it was thougth. After weekend to remember I thought I really can do this. Then when we got back my husband told the woman that he was coming back with me and we were working things out and that day the woman told my husband she was pregnant. Again I prayed and thought there is no way I can handle anything else. I believe that the devil has a plan for me not god. Through all the sorrow and the tears I still just prayed everynight by myself with my husband and my children. I thought how can this ever work then I might as well wear a sign to everyone that says my husband cheated on me when the other child would be with us and what do I tell my little girls the one that I will teach to about only having sex with their husband. How will they believe what I tell them when they can clearly see that daddy did not do it the man they look up to the man they should want to marry one just like. I still continued to pray even when I was starting to believe god was not on my side. I prayed one night crying god please lead me in the right path do I stay or go I kn! ow you k now I am inpatient but I need at least a sign that you are here and listening to me. The next night my husband recieved a text message that the woman was not really pregnant. I think I felt the biggest relief I could ever feel I knew at that moment that was gods sign. He was not telling me that everything was going to be perfect but he was telling me something I just had to stop and give it all to him and listen. The devil knew that we had been to weekend to remember and that was a godly thing and when we got home he had to throw another wrench in it to test our faith. Through god I stayed and everything prevailed from there. I tell my story to tell everyone that it is not easy and sometimes you may feel who is this god person anyway especially when you are young but just pray he will tell you, he will show you the direction and the path sometimes you really just need to stop and listen. Just always remember that even though god has a plan for you the devil does as well and he will always try to step in.

“Auntie, I need to tell you something.”

Seven words that changed my life.

“Uncle XXXXX kisses me and puts his tongue in my mouth.”

I thought I was living the American dream, with a loving, 20-year marriage, a good job, a beautiful home, a new car every couple of years, fantastic vacations, and money in the bank. I did not have children, but I adored my nieces and nephews.

“He touches me.”

But on that cold December afternoon, my niece forced me to take off the blinders of the world. As my niece and I held one another and cried, everything seemed to be in slow motion. I’m no saint, not now and definitely not then. I can’t say that my first thoughts were of God and his saving grace. Instead, I wanted to quickly do everything possible to ensure my niece felt safe. I needed to talk to my sister and my brother-in-law. I needed to talk to my husband.

When my husband found out about the accusations, his first reaction was, “Why would she say something like that?” But within a few minutes, he was angry, raging, and cursing, shouting that nothing ever happened.

After my husband finally fell asleep, I took a deep breath and tried to clear my head. But my mind was full of thoughts and images, almost like a video that was in a constant loop. Was my niece telling the truth? Was my husband telling the truth? If my niece was telling the truth, what kind of person was I, to let this happen in my house? Why did I let my husband be around her? If my husband was telling the truth, why was my niece lying? Why did she act so normal when he was around?

Over the next few days, my happy world changed into a living nightmare. My husband and I learned that we both might go to jail, and our home might be searched by investigators. We sat at our kitchen table one night and discussed things I never imagined we would talk about, such as how to raise bail money, where to find a good attorney, and who to contact if we were arrested at the same time.

Meanwhile, my husband continued to deny anything had ever happened. He feared that I would leave him immediately, so he promised to do whatever it took to save our marriage. Unfortunately, my husband had some wild ideas about saving our marriage. He demanded to know where I was every minute of every day, although he did agree reluctantly that it was OK for me to continue to work. Sometimes he’d insist we needed to leave the state and move to Canada. Other times he’d disappear for several days and refuse to explain where he’d been.

I tried to think of reasons to delay going home after work, not knowing if a police car would be in the driveway, not knowing what pieces of furniture would mysteriously disappear that day, not knowing if my husband would force me to sit in a chair while he shouted in anger. I began to think that he might physically harm me or himself.

What’s a normal life? I knew what it used to be, but I didn’t know what was going to happen next. Since I was cut off from my family and friends, and I was too ashamed to tell my co-workers what was happening, I began to pray to God at bedtime, simple prayers with simple requests. When I began to pray these simple prayers, I also began to hear the voice of God. I’d heard it before, 30 years ago when I was a teenager, so I recognized his voice. He told me to give him my fears and my burdens. He told me he was always with me and he would keep me safe from harm.

“Lord, keep me safe as I sleep tonight.” This was all I could pray at first. Amazingly, God gave this sinner the peace to sleep through each night.

“Lord, help my sister and her family find peace.” After a few nights, I added this short prayer for my sister and her family.

“Lord, please convince my husband to get rid of his guns.” I added this prayer when he started having crazy daydreams. This is also when I started reading the Bible. My heart, my soul, my life, were in turmoil, and this verse gave me great comfort: “My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word” (Psalm 119:28).

“Thank you, Lord, for giving me the strength to search for the Truth.” This bedtime prayer was added after about two weeks. God told me that my husband would tell me as much of the truth as he could if I would be patient, listen, and wait for God’s words before I spoke.

I’m not a patient person. And I wanted to scream and curse at my husband, but I remained almost silent. Whenever I had to speak with my husband, I said a short prayer and asked God to give me the words. It wasn’t easy. When I’d come home and find out that a couch had disappeared, God told me to say nothing. When my husband forced me to sit in a chair while he cursed and said horrible lies about me, my friends, and my family, God told me to say nothing.

After about a month, we learned that the prosecutor believed there was not enough evidence to proceed. The legal battle was over, but our marriage was in deep trouble. I was burning up with righteous anger! Yet God told me to remain in the marriage. We attended church services and marital counseling. The church services were dry and uninspiring. The counseling sessions led my husband to disclosure some things. After he shared these things, God told me it was time to leave the marriage.

I prayed, “Lord, help me to read the Bible and be strengthened by Your Word so that I can take a step forward each day.” Although I was nearly 50 years old, I was starting life over. And as a baby Christian, I needed God’s hand to guide me every step of the way.

Malachi 2:16 is often quoted regarding the break-up of a marriage. “ `I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel…”. But that’s just the first part of that verse. Here’s the second part of Malachi 2:16. “ `and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the Lord Almighty.” God’s hand guided me through this valley of shadows and through the divorce. And over time, through God’s grace I have embraced the Blessing of being single.

God has plans for me, plans that go beyond what I could ever hope to accomplish in my old life. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “ `For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, `plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’.”

God has patiently taught me that there’s no room for revenge, anger, or bitterness in this bright future. I’ve had to learn that my life must be built on faith and trust in God, not the ways of the world, and not the ways of myself. Sometimes I have to learn, and re-learn, and re-learn.

I turned my back on God for 30 years. But He waited with patience, love, and understanding. And one day, I said to Him, “God, I need to tell you something.”

Anonymous Submission

As a child I attended church occasionally with my grandparents, but I wasn’t interested and I really didn’t care. My parents didn’t attend church at all, so it was something that was not important in our lives. When I was 20 I married at Jewish man and he only expressed his dislikes in Jesus, so that was even more confusing.
After being married for about 6 months my husband started mentally abusing me, threatening that he was going to divorce me if I didn’t do what “I was told.” As the years went on he forced me to stay away from my family. Then the physical abuse started. I lived like this for years. It got to the point that he forced me to sign the divorce papers and still live with him. He would threaten to kick me out and I would beg to stay with him.
in December of 1997 I layed in bed one day and asked God to take my life and to just let it all be over.
A few days later I met the man who would change my life. I worked as a pharmacy technician for Walgreens, and my now husband Dennis took a job as an assistant manager. He lived in Tipton In and was driving to Indianapolis everyday. We started to talk and became friends. He saw how my husband treated me when he came to the store and yelled at me or left me stranded at work with no way home at 11:00 at night. He encouraged me to leave my husband, because no one deserves to be treated that way.
Dennis and I became closer and it gave me strength to finally leave my husband. After I finally moved out , Dennis and I started to go out and discovered that the moment we saw each other we knew God answered both of our prayers. Dennis had a life of growing up in church, then as a young adult partied quite a bit. A couple of weeks before we met he ask God to give him a wife, he was ready to settle down and live a different life, attending church again.
We started attended church and attended several before we came to Mount Pleasant. I can’t explain have I felt after the first time I attended church here. I never knew that you could feel that spirit inside of you. I knew that day that this would be my home church instantly. I was baptisted 3 weeks later. I can’t express how the church has stood behind me during my health issues I have had. We couldn’t have done it within all the prayers and help that we received.
We couldn’t be more blessed than to have our daughter and us grow more everyday through Chris’ teachings. I have learned more in the 3 years attending Mount Pleasant, than I had the previous 8 years of attending other churches. I love being a member of this church and look forward to the wonderful days we have to spend here.
Thank You,

Diana Popp

20 years ago I made what I thought was an irreversible career move from being a practicing lawyer to a college administrator. Several years later, through a series of very difficult circumstances, I found myself without a job, back in Indianapolis, and attempting to re-build a law practice after an absence from the market of 7 1/2 years. Thirteen years later, I can truthfully say that those difficult years were God’s training ground. He was preparing me for my role in His-story. A few years back, Pastor Chris preached a message in which he mentioned God’s ability to re-build lives, and I thought “I could be a poster boy for God’s ability to re-build a broken career.” My family and I are so blessed, but I had to endure a “valley experience” that was a very bad dream–including being fired by one of my best friends in the world. Still, if someone had told me in 1989 that I’d be where I am today, but I’d have to endure 7 1/2 trying years, I’d have said, “bring it on.” God’s sovereignty is a wonderful thing, but sometimes we can only see it with hindsight.

Rex Bennett

I was born and raised in Spring Valley, CA which is in San Diego County, in a Non-Christian home. My mother was Jewish and my father had been raised Baptist. Even though I was not from a Christian home, I was fortunate enough to live smack in-between two Christian families who attended the same church.

Every weekend, I would receive an invite from either one or both of these families to go to church. We would always ask and mom would say no; but never give a decent reason as to why. When I was younger, it never occurred to me to ask why; I was a good girl and did what mom said. Because we always celebrated Christian holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc); it did not occur to me that my mother was actually Jewish.

Mom did allow me to attend our neighbor’s “backyard” Bible School every summer. It was there when I was about 8 years old that I asked Jesus into my heart. However, because I grew up in a non-Christian home; it simply became a planted seed.

I am the child of an alcoholic parent and grandparent. When I was 16, I visited my dad in the hospital; suffering from the effects of drinking heavily. He was told at that time that he would not make it and he begged my mom to bring us to see him. Thankfully, it was not His time to leave and God spared his life. He eventually lived the remainder of his life without alcohol and ultimately died from Lung Cancer in 1999 – after giving his life back to God. Alcohol eventually took my Grandfather in his later years of life. However, as a child of an alcoholic parent, the worst life for me is the one I lived in my early adult life for about 3 years.

My parents divorced about the time I was 17 and we moved from San Diego to San Jose, California after I graduated from High School. As a young adult, I began to participate in the night life – going out to local clubs – sometimes with friends and sometimes alone. There were nights that I didn’t remember driving home, but somehow arrived safely. It is only by the Grace of God that I did not go down the path of alcoholism; since genetically, I could. But I did make some other bad choices. At the age of 19-22, I suffered through some very bad relationships with men. I believe I was seeking God at this time and used men to fill that void. I made some mistakes in terms of sexual relationships – which resulted in a couple of aborted pregnancies. All of these things are not things I am proud of. And the fact that I let go of a life so precious is something I ultimately had to deal with early on in my Christian walk. And thankfully, God pulled me through this bad time in my life. And I knew He would still bless me with a family some day. Somehow through this period of about 3 years, God managed to keep me out of jail, with no DUI charges, and away from potentially marrying the wrong man.

I believe that God uses anyone, even those NOT walking with him, to reach the lost. In my case, this is very true. A male friend who I had at one time dated came from a Christian home; but was also not walking with the Lord at the time. One night while “hanging out” with him, he began to ask me questions. Where was I going when the end is here? God used him to speak to me. When I got home that night, I fell to my knees and gave my life to God.

How do I know that I am a child of God? Even more so: how do I know that He really forgives me for aborting 2 precious lives? At the time when I gave my life to him, I was single, 23 and had 2 jobs. After my full time job, I waited tables at a local restaurant. I was at my waitressing job one night and distinctly remember two sets of customers who came in just prior to us closing for the night. The first set was a group of 4 people about my age who seemed very nice, courteous, and friendly. I thought I had done a great job of serving them. The second one was a little old man; who came in and only asked for a cup of coffee. He was very sweet; made eye contact with me when he would talk to me and smiled at me continuously. He seemed to have so much peace and joy about him. These 2 sets of customers (or tables) were my last 2 for the night since the restaurant was closing.

When the first set of customers left (the party of 4), I was clearing their table and found they had written a note on my comment card. It was written in big letters with a black crayon – said that I was ugly, had bugs in my teeth and wished bad things for me (it really said this). I turned to go back to the other customer who was gone – almost like he had never been there at all – even the cup and saucer was gone; but there was a tip on the table. To this day, I believe I was visited by an Angel from God; to remind me that I am His – that no matter what I have done in my life; He has forgiven me and washed me clean. And He is watching over me still.

There are many great verses in the Bible; but probably my all time favorite is 1 John 1:9 which says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from ALL unrighteousness.” Even though I’ve done bad things, He forgives me and has purified me. He took my place on the cross. And He has done much more than this. He wants to give us the desires of our heart…we need to simply pray. My desires were:

1. To one day worship in church with my parents — Seven months prior to his death, my sister and I visited dad (who lived in another state) and for the first time in our lives, we worshipped with him in church. My dad went to be with the Lord 5 days prior to my wedding – and because I knew he was with the Lord, my wedding day was filled only with happiness and joy; not sorrow!

2. For my parents to know my husband and give us their blessing — Even though he knew he would be gone before my wedding, Dad told me that he thought Roger was a wonderful man and gave us his blessing.

3. To have a family of my own — God blessed me with a wonderful husband (and how we met is another entirely amazing story) and 2 beautiful children.

My sister and I are still working on mom though; but with God, all things are possible!
He is truly an amazing God!

Becki Dunaway

There’s always at least 2 sides to a story. From my perspective, my life has been mostly about the pity party I’ve thrown for myself, with good reason of course. When I was about 5, my mom joined the staff of our church and my dad was very involved in missions. There was very little time for me and I had to figure out most of life on my own, including learning how to deal with the constant condemnation from church members for every little thing I did. When I turned 10, due to the carelessness of a friend, I suffered a concussion and my neck was crushed. Almost 30 years later, I have never recovered and each day I suffer great pain, weakness, and chronic fatigue. To add insult to injury, after the birth of our children, my husband decided he no longer wanted to be part of our family, and while he still lives with us, he has very little to do with us. He lives a very selfish life and is involved in Buddhism, pornography, infidelity, and he is adamantly against Jesus Christ. My husband provides a pay check, otherwise, I am on my own. It’s not fair and I deserve more than that.

Well, another side of the story is God’s perspective. He knows that I am no better than anyone who has ever hurt me, that I have left a trail of heartache and pain myself. That is a deeply humbling fact and God has really been convicting my heart to forgive those who I need to forgive just as God has forgiven me of the bitterness in my heart toward them. God doesn’t owe me anything. It is I who owe, and I owe everything, and instead of making me pay for all I have done, God blesses me over and over. It’s not fair that God gives me so much when I deserve none of it.

A few instances come to mind when I think of what God has done for me. When my son was 4 months old, we were at Reilley Hospital waiting to have surgery on his head. Less than 10 minutes before the surgery was to begin, the doctor rushed in and said that the test results were fine, and he canceled the surgery. Two weeks later my son’s head was completely normal. Recently, the engine in my car blew, and the moment I pulled in the driveway with my old clunker, there was an unexpected check in the mail for a down payment on a new car. There are so many stories in my life just like that — incredible blessings that God has given me when I don’t deserve any of it.

It’s when my life completely fell apart that God stepped in and took control, and it is so much better with him directing my path. So every day I rejoice that “this is the day the Lord has made” (Psalm 118:24). When I am in pain I remember that I can do all things through him who gives me strength (Phil. 4:13). And when the trials of marriage come along, I know that God is faithful and he will not lead me to be tempted beyond what I can bear, but will provide a way out so that I can stand up under it (I Cor. 10:13). I don’t want my story to be about me anymore. I want it to be about the awesomeness of God, that his grace is sufficient for me and there is nothing else I need. I thank God for the faith he has given me to see his hand in every step of my life.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov. 3:5-6

Jennifer Singer